Ah Valentine’s Day. That magical time of the year when the world melts into a chocolate-flavored puddle of love and where chubby, bow-wielding angels pierce butt cheeks everywhere.
I can tell you that Corel takes V-Day pretty seriously—and not just because we enjoy gorging on candy and attempting to rhyme things with “violets are blue”. After all, software, much like romance, is all about compatibility. And here at Corel, compatibility just happens to be one of the things we do best (in addition to performing a mean karaoke rendition of “Careless Whisper”).
In fact, as a marketing copywriter, I often like to think of the products I work on as people, each with their own individual personalities, quirks and charms. And like all of us, Corel software really just wants to be loved (or at least have the latest update and Windows service pack installed). With that in mind, I give you…
Personal Ads for Corel Products
Seasoned office worker. I might look a little stuffy, but actually enjoy cutting loose from time to time (Live my life by the motto: spreadsheet happens!). Totally compatible with Microsoft Office, but not nearly as high maintenance or as flakey. Enjoy long walks by the beach, waffles and Redaction Codes. Call me for a good time. We could make beautiful PDFs together.
Hipster artist looking for sensitive creative type. Must be willing to get messy and experiment (extra points for wearing a beret and being all brooding and emo). I’m exceptionally creative but also incredibly reliable (won’t go “all Van Gogh” on you and send you my severed ear or anything). Paint-by-numbers or MS Paint aficionados need not apply.
A full-package looking for someone to draw outside the lines with. I’m a very visual person, so looks matter (no ugly JPEGs, please). Whether you’re bitmap or vector: I swing both ways. Will rock your world once you take me out of the box. Won’t go into details, but let’s just say it’ll be extremely graphic.
Let me zip or unzip you. Nuff’ said.
Looking for fellow cinephile to make movies with. Whether it’s cutting grainy night vision footage or HD-quality 3D-on-3D action, I’m into whatever gets your lens cap off. We can also cut some sweet, sweet audio together if you want to add a little “bow-chica-bow!” to your videos. Call me and let’s start shooting! I promise not to post anything compromising to YouTube.
Is your online dating photo looking a little rough? No problem. Call me and I’ll totally touch you up. I can turn even the most wart-covered frog into a Prince Charming (or at least throw enough effects and color distortion onto the photo so no one can tell the difference). I’m all about making you look good. Well…for the most part. Those permed bangs you had back in high school? Yeah. Sorry. Nothing I can do about that. Even I have my limits.
So there you have it. My take on what Corel software might actually be like if they were trying to make their way through the crazy world of internet dating. And hey, if you’re not already using our products, why not let Corel software give you the registration key to its heart and show you just compatible you can be together.
Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody!
Have you made anything for Valentine’s Day using a Corel product? Post a link below and show us what you’ve done!
PLUS! Declare your love for your favorite Corel product and you could win a Kindle Fire! Check out or contest page on Facebook to find out more!